Dealing with Death

I got an e-mail from my sister in California this morning. The news was quite upsetting. She told me a long time friend of the family James Patrick Dale had passed away on Monday. He was 74 years old and died in the hospital. I want to cry so badly but I just can't because I keep thinking of all the good he did for me. About 5 years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a friend of mine. I packed up my stuff and was planning on sleeping in my car. Jim would not allow this, he made room in his house for me. We would spend time in his hot tub drinking beer, and gazing up at the stars in the sky it was so peaceful. He took care of me when nobody else cared! I guess I thought Old Man Jim (OMJ) would be around forever. I haven't called him in over a year, I wish I would have now. I won't be able to go to his funeral because of school and the fact that my hometown where he died is about 3,000 miles away. I know everybody has their own way of dealing with the death of a loved one, but I haven't had to deal with much death. I really don't know how I am supposed to deal with it.